Finding Pollyanna

Like I said in my first post, I will reference Pollyanna often. When I talk about finding Pollyanna I mean finding that part of yourself that is inherently happy. Finding that part of yourself that looks for the good. Finding the part of yourself that can't help but smile.

How do you do this? That's what I'm trying to answer. That's what I'm hoping to figure out in this next phase of my life.

If you knew me when I was younger, you'd say that I was ALWAYS happy and smiling and just never stopped. I didn't have to find Pollyanna, I was Pollyanna.

I hugged EVERYONE, my mom even had to come up with a rule with my kindergarten teacher. 1...2...3...release. If I didn't have that rule, I guess I'd hang on my teacher's leg the whole class. I mean, who wouldn't want to hug that super cute cat dress wearing girl!?

Somewhere along the way though, I became self-conscious and extremely shy. I began staying inside my own little box and lived in my own little world where it was safe. I was still positive though, even if I didn't hug everyone. I began to see that there was always some kind of good in every situation.

I even kept seeing the good through a divorce when I was 21. Seeing the blessings and the positive in my life was one of the things that made my husband, Brandon, fall in love with me. Through all of my life I have been a shinning example of Pollyanna, someone who sees the good NO MATTER WHAT!

Enter Post Pardum Depression(PPD). This is the depression that many refer to as "The Baby Blues". Now, I didn't get it as bad as some. My PPD came in the form of lack of desire to be around others, lack of desire to do the things I once enjoyed, and a self-crippling doubt in all aspects of my life.

I will go into that, and how I overcame PPD in another post. Suffice it to say I figured something out recently. In the Disney movie Pollyanna went to someone's house and made rainbows. Pollyanna MADE HER OWN RAINBOWS!

Sometimes in life you need to get up, find a prism, and make rainbows appear! Happiness is not something you get being stagnant.

In this section of my blog, the Personal Development section, I will take you all along my journey of Finding Pollyanna in hopes that you all can find yours too.

Until next time Newts!

Be weird. Be you. Be wonderful!